.:: When Just One Remains ::.

This WAS my plan for the week:
Monday: Really easy day. Laid back, kind of a get-back-up-to-speed day.
Tuesday: 5TL with Andrew and Gary
Wednesday: Church, Andrew and Gary supposed to come.
Thursday: Packing, and lots of it.
Friday-Sunday: Jackson with Mom and Bailey, tons of shopping and movies and total fun.

Here's how the week is going so far and looking from here:
Monday: Finds out that Dad has to have open heart surgery and his knee replacement will be postponed. Jackson trip is canceled.
Tuesday: 5TL w/ Andrew and Gary, but I'll still be in a down-type mood, so it won't be AS fun.
Wednesday: Church, which should be okayish. My downer of a mood isn't going away anytime soon.
Thursday: Boring with no packing. Maybe last minute birthday shopping for LeAnne.
Friday: LeAnne's birthday party, which should be the highlight of my week.
Saturday: Who knows.
Sunday: Back to the ole grind.

My dad is having open heart surgery, and I'm just in such a depressed mood. I don't really know what to do. I wanted to spend my weekend with two of my loves: Bailey and shopping. And this trip with my mother is a tradition. Now it's not happening.

Plus, I'm sorry, but I just have to say this. I found out about Nyssa and Jessica last Wednesday, and while I love them both, it just took me by surprise. I'm still kind of shocked over it. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but I do know that no matter my opinion of it, I'll always support and love them, because they're my friends, and they deserve happiness over my stupid opinions. I do love you guys and I will always support whatever you do with your lives. I'm glad you're both so happy. =)

I really wanted to see Bailey this weekend and spend some quality time with her. T-T -cries- Wow, now I'm really crying. I never get to see her anymore because she's away at college and one or two hours a week is just not good quality time. I miss her company. So the day she comes home from college, I might be waiting for her on her couch. I wonder if her parents will find it strange when they come home from work and find me raiding their fridge and lounging on their couch. Maybe not. I seem to always find a way to raid their fridge and lounge on their couch whenever I do get to go over there. I'll just have to wait until she comes home from college for Christmas to see her, but it's still really frustrating and upsetting.

I guess I'm done. I can't think of anything else to say for now.

So...Andrew and I are going out now. <3 <3 <3

Yesterday was his 19th birthday, and he and I have been friends since the seventh grade. Recently, he's been like...my BEST BEST BEST friend. I don't get to see him everyday because he lives in Memphis and goes to Southaven, but I talk to him every day, so it makes it okay.

He wasted no time in asking me to be his girlfriend yesterday. I got out of my car, walked over to him, and when Gary walked over to my car to figure out how to get my keys out, which I had locked inside, he said, "This is me asking you out." And I was like, "Okay~"

The rest of the night was amazing. We mostly hung out with his friends, but that's fine cause I love his friends almost as much as I love him.

Yeah, and he kissed me goodnight before I left too~

He's so sweet~

~eD^

NaNoWriMo is here~

I'm so wiped right now. I have had 5 hours sleep and four not-really-decent meals since midnight of November 1st. I've had 16 Sweet Teas from McDonalds, and I'm really like the walking dead right now. So I'm going to sleep tonight. I have a great word count: 19, 112. Great count for the second day.

The wedding was amazing. I really love Hilary and Anthony. They're the coolest most amazing people ever. I'm so happy for them, and I can't wait to see them again.

The time change has gotten me really messed with my internal clock. Gah.

Anyway, I'm talking on the phone with Andrew and writing at the same time, so I'd better go.

~eD*

YAY~~~~!!!!

So, tomorrows the wedding, and I bees so FREAKIN excited~

I can't wait to see Helen and Hilary and Anthony, and I can't wait to spend some time with Nyssa, if she goes.

Not much going on. I might do NaNo. I might not. Dunno. Workin on a new story. Might not have time. Eh....whatever.

I'm done.

8)

So...I'm writing in purple today.

And...I've come to two very crucial, heartbreaking decisions. One of them was made for me, and is completely out of my hands.

1. I cannot attend Hilary's wedding, and I cried for a solid hour when I found out. John Michael cannot attend the wedding because his cousin is getting married that same day, and he was my ride. The only reason my parents were letting me go in the first place is because he was driving me there. So, now I can't go. And I'm extremely upset. I still have every intention of giving them their present and my highest regards, and it would make my life if they came up here to see me, but I couldn't ask them to do that. Anyway, it freakin sucks. I can't say sorry enough. Nothing will fix this. I am so upset.

Maybe I can catch a ride with Kelsey. Who knows?

2. I am not participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I'm too stressed with school, work, and other things. I'm just not going to do it.

That's all I had to say.

So...I got pulled over for the first time today. It was kinda scary. So, I was coming out of school, and I whipped out onto Getwell Road, and there was this black truck that came out of FREAKIN NOWHERE, and he had to swerve to keep from hitting me. Then he followed me all the way to McDonalds. He started questioning me and asked me for my license, and I was freaking out, cause it was a serious accident. Like, I really really didn't see him, and I didn't mean to almost make him a greasy road spot.

He said he wasn't going to give me a citation cause I was my record was clean and everyone makes mistakes. He said he could have given me a ticket for reckless endangerment/driving. Maybe I should be more careful...? Maybe? 

So, I was pretty shook up when I got to work, and so my mom went to Subway and got me a big cookie and it made me feel better. :3

Yah, so I have a lot to get done this weekend. Here's my to-do list:

1. Fist things first, I HAVE to clean the battery cables in my car and check the oil. The 'Check Engine Soon' light has been blinking for a week.
2. I have to clean my junkyard of a room. (Cause if anyone saw it right now, they'd be like, Josie Montgomery does NOT live here.)
3. Homework, that I'm extremely behind on. I should get on that.
4. I need winter clothes, so I need to go shopping tomorrow.
5. Sophie is out of her heartworm medicine, so I have to call the vet before five today.
6. There's a lock-in at the church today, but I seriously doubt I'll be going.
7. I have things to do for the fellowship in a few weeks. I don't want to be rushing to finish things at the last minute.
8. I need to make a layout for the 5TL newsletter.
9. I have story deadlines that I set for Monday and I really want to meet them.
10. I have ensemble practice at the church at 3 on Sunday. I missed last week's practice to take Engagement pics with Carlo. She and I will be in trouble for missing last week, I can just tell.
11. I have laundry piling up in my closet.
12. I need to find time to go see Bailey while she's still home for Fall Break. I don't get to see my Bails that often. ;-;
13. I've got a stack of movies I have to take back to Blockbuster, and I need money to pay my list of fines. >_>
14. I really wanted to hang out with Nyssa this weekend cause we don't have time to at all anymore, but she went to BOA. GOOD LUCK DC PRIDE!!
15. I'm leaving this slot open for anything that I know WILL come up.

Yeah, so I'm shoving off.

Wow, staring at that vibrating cat for too long is making my head hurt. xDDD

Later much, folks.

I love reoccurring dreams. Do you love reoccurring dreams? I love reoccurring dreams. Especially if they're completely random in all their fluffy randomness.

I dreamed I married Hugh Jackman again last night, and this time, I was one of the characters in the X-Men movies. <3 I'm in the process of writing an X-Men fanfic (I've got 10 pages worth right now), cause I'm just obsessed with it. But I also watched Juno last night, so it was like...I dunno. I got preggo and had three kids. Zane, Emmett, and Jaden. Which was funny, cause the girl was named after me, cause my name was apparently Jaden. But everyone called me Wolf, which is the OOC in my fanfic. Have you ever dreamed about that before? Where your story actually came to life in your dreams? It's the BEST FEELING EVER.

Yah, and then I woke up and had to go to school.

But before that, someone came in my room at five thirty this morning with a flashlight. o_O; It was kinda creepy. I think it was my sister, but I'm not sure. I was half asleep at the time, and I didn't feel like seeing who it was, but I can't think of anyone else dumb enough to go snooping in my room with a flashlight at five in the freakin morning. If it wasn't her...then I will be seriously freaked.

Thinkin' a lot about college today. Dreading talking to my parentals about it tonight, but at least I decided what I'm going to major in. I know it's kinda early for that, but seriously, I really know what I want to do and what I want to major in. An English major will allow me to do everything I've ever even considered doing, so that's what I'm striving for. Maybe my parents will be...I don't know...supportive? I just don't get the feeling that they want me to be a teacher or a writer, which are the two things I want to do. My dad will support me in anything I want to do cause he's just cool like that. But my mom...different story.

Anyway, so I'm supposed to be working so I guess I should get on that. I also have Algebra homework that I'm seriously considering not doing. Cause it's stupid polynomials and they're so freakin easy. That test is in the bag~

Midterm Grades:
Algebra 1: 78..C
English IV: Unknown, but I'm a little too confident about that one, so it should turn out good.

Hm, I think that's it.

THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOOO!!!!!

<3 Byez~

So, last night, I had a dream that I married Hugh Jackman and had little Wolverines~

It's was EPIC.

And then...I woke up and had to go to the dentist. ;-;

Stupid dentist.

Kelselyn is a McNerny Fangirl, and Carlee is a Brasher Fangirl. Does that mean I'm just a Jackman Fangirl?

You know what? I SURE HOPE SO. 8D

I got the new Paramore CD a few days ago and it ROCKS OUT FREAKIN LOUD!! I burned you a copy, Helen. Don't worry~

Hehe, off to do...random...stuffz.

Yeah.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I'm sick of being yelled at for things I don't/didn't do. I'm sick of the screaming, the yelling, the threats, and I'm sick of my parents telling me that if I can't do what they say that I should just pack my stuff and leave.

And you know what? I totally would. In a heart beat. But let's be honest. I can't do that, for two reasons: 1) Where would I go? 2) If I did leave, I wouldn't be able to come back.

I love my family. I love my mom, my dad, and my sister. Even though they get on my nerves and I can't stand to be around them some times, I do love them.

Yeah, I talk back to my parents, but only because they don't ever listen to me or let me have an opinion in the first place. I talk back to them because I feel like it's the only time they'll ever hear what I have to say. But even then, I get in trouble.

I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to leave, and go far, far away.

Actually, no I don't. I don't want to leave and go far, far away. I just want them to listen to me and to stop screaming at me every time I try to say something or do something.

Meaningless rant. It made me feel better. Sorry.

I have the flu, and it sucks royally. I'm so tired of being sick. Someone kill me and makes me feel better.

Just a random array of lyrics to reflect how I feel right now.

---------------------------------------------------

If you only knew
I’m hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I’d sacrifice my beating heart
Before I’d lose you

I still hold onto the letters you returned
I swear I’ve lived and learned

It’s 4:03 and I can’t sleep
Without you next to me
I toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight
Bring me back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The Only thing that I still believe in is you
If you only knew

If you only knew
how many times I counted all the words that went wrong
If you only knew
how I refuse to let you go even when you’re gone

I don’t regret any days I spent
Nights we shared
Or letters that I sent

I still hold onto the letters you returned
You helped me live and learn

---------------------------------------------------------

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply so absurd
In these times of doing what you’re told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
Whatever happened to the young man’s heart?
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
There’s no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There’s a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

Whatever happened to the young man’s heart?
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
There’s no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Everyone’s pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
There’s no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
And I’m staring down the barrel of a 45
And I’m swimming through the ashes of another life
There’s no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

-----------------------------------------------------------

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard a sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart, my heart is yours
(It beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours)
This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart, my heart is yours
(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
My heart is...

DANG IT!

Of all the people in our entire school, I'M THE ONE TO GET THE FREAKIN STOMACH FLU!!

This just figures. I'm in the middle of the busiest part of my Senior year, and I get the stomach flu. I can't keep anything down and I run a fever about 97% of the time. This just sucks. Like...for realz.

And to top it all off, I have to go puke now.

Later.

I realize that when I started hanging out with a different crowd last year, I was giving up a lot. I knew when I made the decision to start hanging out with the churchy people that I would be different. I would ALWAYS be different, because I wasn’t like them. Those people that I started hanging out with, they had been friends for much longer than I was even aware of, and they had a lot of things in common. The cold, hard truth was, I just wasn’t like them. Some examples: They were crazy about clothes and shopping and always looking your best for everything. Me, I was perfectly content with wearing jeans, a t-shirt, my black jacket with the thumb holes, and my old, muddy converse every single day of my life. They were into things like tanning, whereas I would rather sit inside and play video games and waste my life on the computer. Before I started hanging out with them, I was content with letting my hair stay as dark as possible, and even dying it black when the time came. Now, I’m a blond to the extreme. I swore I would never wear my hair short again. I cut it all off before school started, and it doesn’t even touch my shoulders. Those people content themselves with listening to Christian music day in and day out. I’m most comfortable when I’m blasting Shinedown or Saving Abel, or even Evanescence (anything heavy and loud). Why did I change so much?

I was driving to work after I got out of school today, and I realized just why I had changed so much since last year. And not only that, but I had committed one of the worst crimes (in my book), that I could have ever committed. I realized just how much of a dirty, disgusting hypocrite I am. For as long and I can remember, I’ve always said that you should be who you are and no one else. You should always be true to yourself, and you should be your own person. Don’t try to fit the mold. So, what have I done all summer? I’ve changed myself to please these people.

When I started hanging out with the churchy people, I kind of left my other friends behind, which I never should have done. For that, I am eternally sorry. They all moved on with their lives, and they’re all still the best of friends. These new people, they had all been friends before me, and they still are. I think they’ve tried to include me, but when it comes right down to it, I just don’t fit in with them. So when I don’t include myself, they go on with their own agendas, which always include each other. But now, my other friends have their own lives, and the people I left them for are doing things that I don’t necessarily want to do. So, where does that leave me? Somewhere in the middle, all by myself.

And now that I’m stuck in the middle, I’m kind of alone. And because I’m human, I crave attention. But it’s getting out of control. I’m craving attention from people I know don’t even like me. Like those popular cutups in the school, or those people who I know will make fun of me and say rude things to me. Negative attention is better than no attention at all, right? I crave attention because I’m scared if I tell myself that I don’t need attention, I’ll start to believe myself, and I’ll get back to that place I was at a few years ago, where I would rather die than go another day of being ignored.

So, how do I fix this? Well, for one, I’m super done with trying to fit that stupid mold for people who don’t even pay attention to me. People who pretend to be my friend, but really don’t like most of the dominate traits in my life. If they care at all, they’ll stick around. If they don’t, then oh well. That means they weren’t my real friends to begin with.

***

I had fun with Nyssa on Saturday, and I had fun at the Sunday school social. Found out that I'm mostly MelClor. Lol. School is cool. Easy. Whatev. I'm going to bed. Ttyl.

Okay, I didn't really feel like posting, and this probably won't be very long because I have a mountain of paperwork calling me and I have to pee really bad. >_> So...here goes.

I don't feel like myself anymore. So much has changed, it's almost unreal. I feel very...un-Josie-like. Like, today, my Algebra teacher asked me if I would tutor this girl after school today because my grade in the class is higher than everyone else's. I just stared at her, like, "What? You do remember who I am, right? The girl that failed this class last year?" And she just smiled and said, "Will you?" And I was like, "Um, sure?" So I'm tutoring after school today. In Algebra. Which is math. Which I hate. How did this happen?

I saw Nyssa the other day while getting my pictures taken, and she was like, "JOSIE!" and I was like, "NYSSA!" and we were like, "SQUEEILOVEYOU!!!" I get to hang out with her soon~ Yay!

I have infected ant bites all over my feet and legs. And they're itchy. And I hate them. They're annoying. I just don't know what to do. I use Cortizone on them, and that helps, but it's temporary. I guess I should just stay out of anthills, hm?

Okay, I seriously have to pee. So I'll past again later. Maybe. Maybe not.

Probably not. 8D

~eD*

So, I took my Senior pics on Saturday. I'm gonna put a few on here so everyone can see.





Hope you guys like them!! This isn't even half of them! I took nearly 160!

I actually felt like writing in blue today. Not really a post. Just a list of things I felt like sharing with anyone who cares.

-My mom has been in the hospital. Don't worry. She's okay.
-School rocks. I have great grades in all my classes. I actually have a higher grade in math than I do in English. @_@ Apocolypse. Still, it's keeping me VERY busy. I have a lot of stuff due tomorrow and I haven't started on it yet.
-Work is still the shiz.
-I still miss a lot of people. Everyone has gone off to college or they just don't care enough to speak to me anymore. It makes me really sad. You know who you are.
-Senior pics this Saturday.
-Carlee's b-day tomorrow. <3
-I'm starting to write letters to all the friends I haven't heard from in a long time. Dunno why. Just am. Sending them too.
-I feel very bipolar today. One minute, I'm all happy and stuff. Then I'm sad. Then I'm angry. Then I'm sadhappyangry. Then I'm jealous. Now I'm back to kinda in the middle of sad and lonely.
-Got a new list of bands I love. Don't care enough to list them. If you want to know, comment.
-I wanna make a video and put it on YouTube. Dunno why.
-My hair is kinda annoying. But then I look in a mirror and smile at it. Cause it's funny to look at. xDDD;

I think that's it. I'll post again later. Maybe.

~eD*

So, I feel really bad right now.

Last night, my sister and I were fighting because she wanted me to take her here, there, and everywhere. And when I said no, she threw a freakin tantrum, and asked me why. I told her it was because gasoline doesn't grow on trees. So she starts screaming and crying and throwing things. She broke one of my mom's candle things that she got from our grandmother, who has been dead for seven years now, and it was my mom's favorite thing that she got from her mother. I, being the responsible adult in the house at the time, grabbed the Krazy Glue and tried to piece it back together, but it had shattered as soon as it hit the tile by the fireplace. I got most of it to go back together, and if you don't go up and start playing with it and looking at it hard, you can't tell it's broken.

Well, the first thing my mom noticed when she walked in was that her candle thing was broken. Of course. And because I didn't want to start another war with my sister, and I wanted to set a good example and not cause a fight (which my family is famous for), I told my mom I had broken it by accident and that I would pay to replace it. I got one hell of a lecture for that one. My sister didn't even speak up and take responsibility. But I don't really care, because if she did, then I would get in trouble for lying. I'm just gonna let it go. Still, it makes me feel bad. I guess I'll get over it.

-sigh- I miss Hilary and Anthony. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, and I haven't seen them in nearly FOREVER. They've been in town a lot since the last time I saw them, but I've been so busy with work and stuff, I just don't have time to go see anyone. But I really want a hug from my Hil. ;-; And I kind of miss them calling me pussycat. It makes me feel special. =D You guys need to get in touch with me somehow so we can plan something.

I'm doing my Senior pictures on the 29th. I'm going to the railroad tracks in Old Town OB, and the Botanical Gardens where my parents were married. I'm taking Carlee with me, because I think it would be cool to have pics of me and of me and my best friend. I'm getting my hair done again for them, and Mary is gonna do my makeup that morning, so it's all good.

I kinda wish it was still summer. I miss not having a curfew. I miss being able to go out with friends after church and stuff and not having to be home until like, 10:30. Now, I have to be home by 9:00pm. Period. No exceptions. And I have so much homework, all the time. If it's not Algebra, it's English. I told my mom the other day that I was gonna drop out of school, (just joking, btw), and she FLIPPED OUT. Exact conversation:

Josie: GOD! I'm so SICK of all this HOMEWORK!! I'm just gonna drop out of school and be done with it.

Mom: NO you're NOT. No daughter of MINE is going to be a high school dropout!

Josie: Why not? If I drop out of school, then you'll have one perfect, brilliant child (meaning my straight-A sister), and one not-so-smart, high school dropout. =D

Mom: Maybe if you spent more time in your studies and less time reading and writing your stupid books you would have better grades.

Yeah, and maybe if you spent more time with your family instead of wasting your life at work, we'd have a better relationship. Geez, she talks to me like I'm stupid or something. I have plans for my life, and I intend to fulfill them, at my own pace. I don't need her to tell me what to do.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I have it better than most people, but sometimes I wish I didn't. I overheard some guys in my neighborhood one time when I was walking my dog, and they were saying that I was a spoiled white girl. (White, yes. Spoiled, no. I have to pay for anything and everything I want/need.) They called me "the spoiled rich girl". Which I don't think I am. My family can barely afford food right now, and the only reason we're still living in that huge house is because my grandfather is loaded and is loaning us money. My parents keep talking about selling the house and buying a smaller one, but then we wouldn't have enough room. I think they're waiting for me to go off to college so they can get a smaller house. I hope they do. I'm very thankful for my house, and I love it, but it's just too big for my family. We don't even spend that much time in it. Other than while we're sleeping, we spend a whole four hours in it in one day. And it requires a good cleaning every two days because of the dog and cat, who both shed constantly.

-sigh- There I go again. Complaining. Okay, I'm done with that topic.

Yeah, so, Hilary and Anthony and Helen and Kelsey and Nyssa, I miss you all. I'm afraid I'm gonna be in this depressing mood until I see you guys. I want hugs from you all real soon. If I don't get them, I'm tracking you down. You guys don't want me showing up at your houses or in your college dorms -cough-KELSEY-cough-. That will be very creepy. Let me know when you guys are coming up again, please. I want to see you all. ;-; Nyssa, I see you everyday, but we never hang out anymore because of band season. And our webshow is suffering for it. D=>

Alright, well, I'm supposed to be working, so I guess I should go.

PEACE. out.

~eD*

Ugh, okay, so I completed two days of school. I'm officially a Senior. I can't believe this. Seems like only yesterday I stepped into my first day of first grade. Now, I'm on my last day of school. Period. Well, besides college. I read Kelsey's journal about her first week at MSU, and it kind of made me eager to get up there. Not because I want to get away from home, or away from my parents, or even because I'm in a hurry to grow up. I'm just ready to be independent. I love my family, and I'd be sad to leave them, but it's my dream to live in an apartment or dorm with two or three, or just one, other persons whom I can be friends with. It just sounds so fun to me. Doing the grocery shopping, cleaning the apartment/dorm, cooking, doing the laundry, all while juggling school...it sounds like a BLAST! I know that sounds completely crazy, but that's just how I work. I'm at my best whenever I have somewhere to be or something to do, or someone to see. I'm even better when I have someone to take care of. Which is why I think I've been feeling so upbeat and totally awesome lately. I'm juggling school, an almost-full-time job, taking care of my sister, and making sure things are running smoothly at home. I don't have time to think about myself or what's wrong with me, or even about any kind of drama. I have bigger, better, more important things to worry about.

I have four books to read before the end of the semester: Frankenstein, A Doll's House, 1984, and Lord of the Flies. We're also starting research papers on the 24th. Yes, of this month. My Algebra class is moving really, really fast. Even though I've already taken the stupid class, it doesn't make it any easier. Second day of school, and I already have two pages of homework that I will probably do in Homeroom tomorrow morning, Taylor forbid, lol. Work is throwing me for a loop. I get there at noon and work, non stop until five. And most of the time, I'm on my feet. My computer crashed, and I was completely lost. I couldn't do anything, and it was driving me crazy. All my programs for work are on there, and my calender is too. I can't function at work without my calender. When the computers finally came back up, my phone quit working. I just couldn't win. And then the copy machine ran out of toner, and it was all downhill from there. I just...I don't know. It's like I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I had to take my sister home from there, and then cook supper and do the dishes and then take my sister to her martial arts class. Then I went to see a friend of mine, and I helped her set up a FB group and helped her do some other stuff. Then I had to go back and pick my sister up, then we went home. I cleaned up the kitchen, put on my pajamas, and now I'm laying in bed typing this. Why? Because I CAN'T SLEEP. How completely and ironically horrible is THAT?!

Just plain messed up.

This whole block schedule thing is really working my nerves...actually, I love it. I'm out of school before noon. It's amazing. The most awesome feeling ever. The only thing is that I can never remember where I park. It's so annoying. If anyone has any tips for me, I would forever be in your debt. If I have to wander around the parking lot looking for my car again tomorrow, I think I'll shoot myself. It's embarrassing, and really irritating.

Plus side, I don't think I've ever written this much in such a short amount of time. It's like my brain has a block against writer's block. Like, my inspiration is limitless. All I want to do nowadays is write. And not just write lame nothingness. I actually want to work on my novels. If I don't feel like working on Cahier, it's because I want to work on Volos. If I don't want to work on Volos, I'm putting together the plot for Fate's War. It's great. I'm so psyched about it all, it's just coming to me in waves and it's like I can't get it down on paper fast enough. I've actually finished most of Volos. There's still a lot more to do, but oh well. I love working on all of it. And my new laptop makes all of that easier! I've named it Saleen, after one of my favorite cars. We, or I, had a funeral for Ed, my last laptop, but I hate to dwell on the past.

Haha, I think that's it. That huge wave of exhaustion just hit me like a tidal wave, so I'm about to hit the sack. And then lay in it. =D

Oh yeah, Sophie says hey~ <3

~eD*

Can you name 20 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people, and be sure to tag the person who tagged you after completing it yourself. this is a lot funnier if you actually list the names first, no cheating!

1. Nyssa
2. Helen
3. Jessica
4. Kelsey
5. Colin
6. John Michael
7. Tori
8. Carlee
9. LeAnne
10. Hilary
11. Anthony
12. Taylor
13. Brittany
14. Tess
15. Sarah S.
16. Bailey
17. Kaitlyn
18. Tyler
19. Sammi
20. Sarah

((that was way too hard))

T H E Q U E S T I O N S

• How did you meet 10?
I spent a weekend with her, Anthony, Jessica, and Helen. I met her through Helen. And I love her~

• What would you do if you had never met 6?
Be very sad. He makes me laugh.

• What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
That would never happen. 15 thinks 20 is a skanky bitch, just like I do. 8D

• If you could marry either 6 or 14 who will it be?
Urm, 6 would be less controversial, and my parents would approve more, but  I just love 14 sooooo much!!!

• Did you ever like 9?
As a friend?

• Have you ever seen 3 cry?
...NO...um...NO...

• Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
...Uh, no? They're not...urm...like that?

• Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
Oh geez no. That would be hilarious though.

• Describe 8:
My best friend. She's everything to me. 

• Last time you saw 12?
Last Friday

• Tell me something about 17?
She can be the most caring person ever.

• What's 7's favorite color?
Dunno

•When was the last time you talked to number 6?
Um, red?

• How do you think 19 feels about you?
She considers us friends, but we're not like...horribly close.

• What language does 13 speak?
No one can ever tell.

•What do you think of 20? 
I think it would be better if I just didn't comment. She is herself, and that is all she can be.  

• Who is 2 going out with?
No one that I know of.

• What is 5's favorite music?
Varies.

• What do you think about 18?
I think he's an immature loser who can't be anything but an immature loser.

• What is the best thing about 4?
Aw, she's so snuggly and I love her~

• What would you like to tell 1 right now?
I mees joo~ ;-;

• How did you meet 9?
Church. I used to hate her and I used to think she was stuck up. Now she's cool~

• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
Best: She's AHMAZING! AND SO FUNNY!!      Worst: Is there a worst?

I'm gonna get a tattoo when I turn 21. Why 21? Because then I won't have to listen to my parents complain about it, and I won't have to quit my job first. =D

I just really want a tattoo. Actually, I think I'm gonna get two or three. I know I'm getting a symbol from my book done on my right arm. In my book, Cahier, the three assassin siblings (In order: Boy, girl, girl) each have a tattoo on the upper part of their right arm. It's of three dots: one blue, one purple, one pink. The colors stand for each other the siblings. The oldest's color is blue. The middle child's color is purple, and the youngest's color is pink.

The actual tat is bigger than this, but I did a thing in paint as and example:



Yeah. I know it's pretty simple, but I'm excited about it. I don't know if I'll just get the dots in black, or if I'll go for the color.

I'm also going to get a treble cleft on my back. Something like this:



It's gonna hurt like the devil, but it will be so worth it.

I might actually get one more. I want to get a wolf paw on my ankle. It will be so sweet. Just a wolf paw. Not anything fancy.

I just have tattoos on the brain today.

I'm gonna go think some more about it. =D

~eD*